Coffee, Cards, and a Goatee.

There's a whole lot of things that really bug the shit out of me regarding that last post. So let's go through them, one paragraph at a time, and, conveniently, also in order of importance:

1. First the good things - everything in this paragraph, and the rest of the post, is completley true. That's good, I don't want to start lying on a blog to attempt to make myself seem interesting. That's just...well, lets just say thats wrong for a good number of reasons. Here's the bad thing though. I'd really like to avoid making this a "This Is What I Did Today" kind of blog, and this first paragraph borders on it. It's not there quite yet because it's mostly concerned with emotions and my relationship to you, my faithful readers, but its close. Who cares what I did today, unless there's an acutal significant series of actions that someone besides me would find meaningful or at the very least amusing? I'm not saying posts like that won't creep in now and then, but on the journey for the perfect blog, this is an important lesson.

2. This paragraph has two major problems. One, it doesn't just border on the mistake mentioned above, it embodies it. Two, it sounds vaguely homosexual and portrays me as a highly spiritual, "my aura is radiant" kind of ignoramus, which I am not.

3. Sigh. Here's the big one. George. George, George, George. Grab yourself something to drink, this one could take a little while. I just watched Carlin's new special, "Life Is Worth Losing". This was, as the title of the post may have hinted at, highly disappointing. Now, myself and Sean, a good friend and fellow Carlin-afficionado, had the following conversation about said special, which I repeat here without his permission and completley because I dont feel like writing it all again:

Me: That was....weird.
Sean: i'm disappointed
Me: me too
Me: he was more of a social commentator
Me: not even that funny
Sean: i really liked the first 5 minutes and last 10 minutes
Me: yeah
Sean: but the rest of it:
Sean: 1) too "calculatedly" outrageous...too much death and too repetitive about the suicide stuff
Sean: 2) poorly performed...he stumbled on a lot of words and was too slow....plus his voice has lost its character
Me: i couldn't have said it better
Me: The critics are going to rip him a new one
Me: and HBO will be peeved
Sean: well he did have a heart attack
Sean: and other health problems
Me: doesnt change the fact that he just wasnt funny
Me: he's a comic, and no matter what he wants to talk about, he should be making people laugh
Me: if not, change your label
Me: i dont care if he gets up and says everything he said tonight, but he should have called it George Carlin: Serious this time.
Sean: yeah
Me: and yeah, his performance sucked.
Me: plus, the audience was just sitting there in stunned silence...and a lot of the assumptions he made about things just weren't true
Sean: YEAH
Me: "Nobody cares about " Well George...they do
Me: families, people with hearts
Sean: oh you mean when he said nobody cares about the homeless?
Me: yeah, or prisoners, or people who got beheaded, or people affected by natural disasters, etc.
Sean: i think that's not really serious
Sean: and he's mostly talking about how "the powers that be" feel, like the government and shit
Me: you're probably right, but his performance should have conveyed that
Me: he should have made it a little more obvious that he was being sarcastic
Sean: yeah, like with more attention to tone of voice
Me: yeah
Sean: the audience didn't like it either haha
Me: haha nope
Me: no one laughed the whole time
Sean: i had a feeling it was gonna be bad when he started saying the thing about pussy farts
Sean: it seemed like the audience was thinking "you've said that before, douche bag"
Me: yeah, he did do a lot of repetitive stuff
Sean: my favorite thing was probably SOL and JWF: shit out of luck and jolly well fucked
Me: hahaha yeah
Me: i also like "He's down there you fanatical fuck"
Sean: yeah
Sean: i am also curious about how obese people take a shit
Me: yes!
Me: that actually made me think
Sean: i bet even Carlin knows he was bad though
Sean: he's been in the business for 50 years
Me: yeah
Me: hes gotta know when he bombs
Me: i guess though, it was taped live
Me: can't control a tail spin once its going
Sean: argh now i have the theme song of Tail Spin stuck in my head
Me: hahaha
Sean: ooo-eee-ooo

We then moved on to talk about other things, such as Bo Diddley. A clear segue from Carlin. Here's some additional comments, or notes if you will. If you go to http://avclub.com/content/node/42195 , you'll find an interview that the Onion's AV club conducted with the man himself. Its a solid interview, good insights, some background, etc. Thoroughly enjoyable. However, within it, Carlin says how he could see that some people would say he is an angrier comic nowadays, but that's not true. He calls it "righteous indignation" against a species that he feels has let him down. Hey George, I'm right behind you. Be as righteously indignified as you would like, and please let us all know about it in as funny and creative a way as you can. And I appreciate a lot of the new stuff he's done that kind of moves in a different direction than the comedy we're used to. Be a stand up comic for 50 years and you'll start breaking new ground at some point (hopefully), and I'm glad George was the man to do it. He's smart enough, funny enough, and talented enough. But here's the thing. Express it! George's performance came off as a twisted man telling of his thoughts, and occasionally trying to persuade others to feel the same way. He was pontificating. And again, that's fine, but its not what he was trying to do. Success is completley defined by what you are attempting to do. If I try to make toast, and end up with a cure for cancer, I've still failed my original plan. Serendipity may have smiled upon me and given me a great gift, but im still friggin hungry (unless the cure happens to be a super hotdog or something). If Carlin sets out to be funny, and instead presents some view on the world, or some interpretation thereof, he's failed. Especially for the paying public. George, I love you, and I still cherish most of your work. But come now. You've been at this for 50 years, you know what you're doing and what needs to be changed far better than any of us. I'll be waiting for your genius to shine through again.

That was a lot to sort through, so i give you this, which is guaranteed to brighten any day:



A giant seahorse made of cheese! Now if that doesn't make you smile, what will? Seriously!